


So Much The Better, Better The Much So

by GrandmaSalty



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Drama & Romance, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, F/M, Multi, Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-14
Updated: 2016-07-17
Packaged: 2018-07-22 15:35:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7444507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GrandmaSalty/pseuds/GrandmaSalty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Different choices have been made and therefore there's a different world with different people in it, yet they all seem to form their previous incarnation's inclinations. It's somewhat like 8x13 "If/Then. All of the cast feels as though they have a good grip on their lives till they start running into the people that had been such an important and integral part of their previous incarnations' lives. Relationships form, sex is had, drama develops, and people get hurt.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. There Was A Sound

**Author's Note:**

> The characters and setting are the work of Shonda Rhimes and belong to her and the ABC Network. Thank You.

She'd been jolted back and forth in the back of an old, rusted pick-up truck for the better part of thirty minutes. It was starting to drizzle. She'd been counting the churches they'd passed but now she was counting the drops of rain that fell on her. The road wasn't good. Lots of twists and turns. Lots of trees. Lots of blind spots. It was easy to veer off the road. Hit a tree or a fence. The drizzle was starting to become heavier and heavier.

She jumped from the bed of the pick-up before it had even stopped. She almost tripped. The rain was getting heavier and heavier. She ran over to car vehicle. It had been run into a thicket and the front end was smashed in by a huge tree. Her fingertips wouldn't touch if she wrapped her arms around the base of it. She struggled with the driver's side door, trying to rip it open. It'd been dented. She then pulled back from the door and took a deep breath in. He looked to be unconscious. She searched the ground and found a rock that she was able to hold in one hand. She smashed the car window. The pieces rushed inward like a river of glass. She made sure to clear out the shards still holding to the seal before reaching in and unlocking the door.

She dragged him from the wreckage but made it to the road with assistance. The person helping her get the man to the road was the one who'd been paying her to float his horse's teeth only an hour early. If she'd messed up on the horse it would have been fine. It wasn't fine now though. It was pouring now. She was holding the head. She was holding his head. It had to be held in place. He could have a spinal injury. It could have been aggravated while they had been moving him. She had been looking anywhere but his face. Her eyes were wide and her lips pulled down into a frown. His eyes had fluttered open, lids half raised. Rain drops splashed on his face, smaller drops rebounding off and then all running off together and dripping onto the ground.

She tried to say something to comfort him but her lips were trembling. She finally managed to stumbled onto a sentence, "H-Hi. You, you, you were in a car crash. I-I, I'm. My name is April Kepner, can you tell me your n-name?" Her eyes went back and forth, travelling from his face to his torso. There were no discernible injuries, no blood.

"I'm a," he groaned, trying to turn,"I'm a surgeon. I'm a surgeon." He groaned again. He kept trying to move but April pushed him back, holding him and keeping him in place. "Y-You can't move, you can't move. You, you might have a spinal in-injury." April found her herself starting to shake, her hands trembling making her hold tighter to him.

"My name is Jackson Avery. I'm a surgeon at Seattle Grace Mercy West Hospital. Now I'm self assessing here, but I feel fine. I am fine." He started to rise up, taking her trembling hands off himself. April still sat there, her eyes wide.

"You, you, you may be in shock. You shouldn't be getting up," her tone expressed her distress. He was up and walking before she could do anything.

"Honestly you're the one who looks to be in shock." He surveyed landscape and then the situation. He looked unsteady on his feet. He kept moving and stepping round as if he stood still he would fall.

"A-Are, are, you, you, you," April shook her head before continuing to speak, now with more confidence,"Are you sure you don't need us to call an ambulance, or someone?"

Jackson began to speak, "No, I can take care of..." He tapered off as he turned towards her. "April Kepner, you're...You were a surgical intern at Mercy West, right?" He had a questioning expression as he tried to stumble upon a certain memory. His memories of his first year of residency weren't hazy or forgettable. He remembered patients, he remembered messing up and getting talked down to. He didn't always remember the people who shared those experiences though, especially those who didn't survive the merger.

"Yeah, yeah I was. Now I'm a, well I'm still in school, though not completely, but I am out in the field now. I've not graduated though, not altogether, not fully." April started to get up from the ground, rising weakly. Her legs felt heavy and full of static.

Jackson gave an awkward smile, "I'm sorry, you're a what?"

"A vet, a veterinarian. I'm still working under someone though, kind of like residency, you know. But it only lasts one year instead of five, but you probably knew that, probably not the veterinarian part though." April then turned and went back to the truck and then to where she had been in a circular motion. She mulled over her words in her mouth before finally speaking, making sure to look him in the eye. "So  how did, well," she pointed to the damaged vehicle," _That_ happen?"

He chuckled before slipping his hand over his face, a little redness in his cheeks. "Well I guess I never went on a country drive. These roads are—"

"Tricky?" She offered before he could finish. She still wasn't smiling and only looked to be tired. 

"Yeah, I'd say so. You wouldn't happen to know a cab company or towing company or anything like that?" He smiled so that his face was made all that more attractive.

"No, I'm sorry, I don't," April quickly glanced to the man who'd drove her here,"Where is it that you want to go?"

He smiled again and groaned. "I'm an idiot. I don't even know the name of it. I'm stupid. I really am."

April went towards him, "We could, take you and drop you off at the nearest, real town. You could maybe arrange something there or here if you have you phone. Maybe you could call someone and they could meet you there?"

His face brightened and he mumbled a thanks before pulling out his phone. His expression dampened as he stared down at the tiny screen. "I don't have any signal. Could I maybe use your phone?" April instantly went for her phone, retrieving it from her jacket pocket and delivering it to his open hand. "Thanks." His eyes soon widened his expression turned to one of urgency and excitement. "You're a vet right?" April nodded. "So this Meredith, she's Meredith Grey right?"

"Yeah, I mean yes I do. She's the person I'm working under. She's my teacher, well my mentor."

Jackson's face lit up once again and he smiled widely and truly,"Alright, alright...This is, it's great. Can you take me to her?"

April turned to the owner of the truck once again before nodding. "Yeah, sure, we can take you to her. It's just, well, why?"

"Sorry, sorry. She's, it's my girlfriend. My girlfriend-fiancée is sisters, half-sisters or something, I don't even know. They're related and I'm, I don't even know what I'm doing."

April stumbled over her words, "We've got that in common then." She managed to let herself laugh and he soon joined. 

* * *

 "You obviously don't like me or the way I'm living my life but you know what, there's the door and you can leave," Meredith's pointed towards the front door of the clinic. 

"I can't understand how you can be so—"

"What, selfish? I'm selfish and bitter and that's all I am so leave!" Meredith's voice cracked as she yelled. The girl still stood before her showing no signs of leaving. She was like a post drilled into the floor. Her eyes were just the same. "But you must be some kind of miracle worker right? You obviously turned my mother into an actual maternal figure so what's her bitter daughter? Well come on, work your miracles," Meredith offered herself up to the girl. The girl's eyes weren't as clear or fixed as they had been. "Go ahead! I really want you to. Make me fit right into the little family you've been making for yourself. If you just chop me up I'll fit right in! I know you could do—"

"Just shut up!" The girl finally cracked. Her eyes were watering now. "You really think it's something to hate your mother this much? To hate your whole family? You have the right to feel alienated because you weren't given an ordinary childhood, but you're an adult now. Do you understand that? Do you understand that only children walk around with chips on their shoulders about things that are impossible to change?" The girl wiped the tears from her face, her expression now more stern and unrelenting than before.

"Do you understand that you have a different dad than I had? What about a different Ellis Grey? You have a different everything from me. You don't get to yell and cry about things that have nothing to do with you. You do not get to have a say in what I do when you know absolutely nothing about what I've been through. You can't empathize with having a surgeon for a mother. You can't empathize with having to call 911 when that mother slits her wrists because a man means more to her than her life, than her daughter, than her anything. You can't empathize with anything about me except that now we both don't have mothers. I had a surgeon who managed to procreated; you had a mother but she's gone now. So don't you dare try to tell me anything when you know nothing about me. I was fine until you came here. I am fine, just fine without her. I don't need her and it's obvious now that she doesn't need me. I'm never going to fit into your perfect little family so don't come here and try to force me to." Tears were not rolling down her cheeks with no sign of stopping and she no sign of wiping them away. She stood there, perfectly still except for her now heavy breathing. "You don't get to have a say Lexie. We aren't sisters. Not by my father and not by my mother. We are not sisters."

Lexie tilted her head up and stared at the ceiling before sighing. She wore a smile when she faced Meredith once again. "She didn't wanted me as a daughter, she just wanted her daughter. She wanted you. She loved you. She had all these big dreams and expectations for you. It was you she wanted to be extraordinary. Not me. You. You Meredith. She wanted you. I was there and you weren't and so she tried to make me measure up to you. It's you Meredith. I latched onto her because I wanted a substitute too. I wanted a mother again, but I can't be the one who stands next to her on the happiest day of her life." Lexie bent over, her hands resting on her thighs. She still smiled as tears continued to flow and laughter erupted from her mouth. "It's the daughter who's the maid of honor! Everyone knows that!" She continued to laugh uncontrollably. Her own thoughts were the funniest things she'd ever spoken and to hear them out loud only made her roar even louder. 

Meredith's expression softened and her body loosened, her posture now less rigid. "My mother and I have said our goodbyes. We've resigned to a life where we're not a part of other's. We've went down our own paths and we made sure they wouldn't cross."

"I don't want a mother who doesn't want me, a sister who hates my guts, or a father that will never be my father. I don't want your family Meredith. I've got my own. I had a mother who loved me and I believe you have one too so just let your paths cross one last time."

"I don't get it. Inviting me back into her life could be disastrous for you." Meredith smiled. "I'll replace the replacement and you'll be all alone."

Lexie took her shirt and wiped her face with it. Tear stains were still evident and her face was still red but there was true happiness underneath. "I think I can handle it."

"I still don't get it though. Are you just trying to live out your fantasies through me? Or maybe you're just getting sentimental about maternal bonds."

"Either of those really." Lexie chuckled. The tension had disappeared and the air was finally breathable again. "But it's mainly just that weddings are for family. You can get married anywhere at anytime now, but weddings, they're planned. Marriage is for the people who love each other, weddings are for their families. You're her family."

Meredith stared up at the ceiling with a look of contentment and astonishment. She shook her head as if to chastise herself before looking back to Lexie. "You were wrong."

"What?"

"You were wrong," Meredith turned her still cheerful face back up to the ceiling,"You were wrong when you thought that I didn't know she loved me. How could I not when she let me become a vet. No one like her could standby and watch someone who essentially belonged to them throwaway med school just like that unless they loved them. So I knew she loved me, just so you know." 

Both of them soon found themselves laughing uncontrollably. The disappearance of the earlier tension had gotten the better of them.

* * *

 

The ride to the clinic inside the pick-up was no better than riding in the back. The rain still beat down on the windows. The seats were now just as soaked as the people who sat on them. The ride could have been a bit more tolerable if the dog sitting on April's lap—for there was no room left for it—was not wet or rather, nonexistent. The close proximity in which all of them sat made the ride no more pleasant. April found herself constantly having to move so not to be too close to either of the men on either side of her, though she wouldn't have so much minded the company of Jackson. He was all too obviously totally oblivious to her presence though. He only spoke to her when consulting her about when they'd reach the clinic and therefore Lexie. His disinterest in her was didn't wound her pride though. She'd never been too interesting to the majority of boys.

Jackson slung open the door as soon as they stopped and rushed through the rain and into the clinic. He needed no other assurance than Lexie's car in the parking lot to run in. April thanked the remaining man for the ride and waved him off as he left. It was as she entered the clinic that the yelling started.

"You can't just leave without giving me a straight answer first. I wrecked my car coming after you!" Jackson's face had become twisted with anger.

"You shouldn't have been coming after me in the first place!" Lexie yelled back. She turned and placed a hand on her forehead, her eyes wide and head heavy. She was composed and calm when she turned back to face him. "You were in a wreck...You're fine right," she went towards him.

"I fine! Stop trying to change the subject Lexie. I asked you a serious question and you left. You ran away without giving me one clue as to what I should do." He seethed with rage, backing away from her.

She looked to be hurt for a split second before anger took its place. "You can't expect me to make a decision like that in only a second."

Resentment flooded his face and he bit his lip making him appear more alike to a toddler than anything. "I expect you not to run away from me when I ask you something like that. I expect you to be someone who I can depend on."

"Oh so what Jackson! So what! Can't you see that there's other things on my mind than you right now. You're acting like a brat, screaming and throwing a fit just because you can't get what you want. Oh grow up!"

"You know what Lexie, we can talk about this some other time," Jackson glanced back at April and Meredith—both of whom had been intently watching the argument unfold—before setting his eyes back on Lexie.

"Look who's running away now. What, would this be "unbecoming of an Avery"?"

Jackson seethed and huffed as he began for the door, his back turned to Lexie.

"No, please do continue. What was the problem question?" Meredith teased as Lexie went to follow Jackson out. 

Upon making it to the front entrance, Jackson slung open the door and slammed it shut behind him with considerable force.

Meredith chuckled as she watched the exasperation on Lexie's face grow as she made it towards the still swinging door. Meredith then looked to April who was still in awe of what had just occurred. "You know anything?"

April shrugged and lifted her hands into the air,"I don't know, marriage maybe."

* * *

 "Are we not going to talk?" Lexie finally asked after an hour and a half of driving in utter silence. "Shouldn't you have called someone about your car by now?" He could not yet be seduced into conversation. "You know I've been working in Peds lately and you're acting exactly some of the kids there except you don't have cancer and you're twenty-eight so you have no excuse." Silence. Lexie sighed. She kept driving as the rain poured down. "You came after me. You came after me...Remember that."

"You know that I want to fix whatever's going on here but you don't and you won't even pretend you do." Jackson stared off out the window. His voice possessed none of the anger that was present in it earlier and only conveyed a sense of woe.

"Where did that come from?" Lexie turned to him, his head now held in his hand and his brow furrowed.

"Stop acting like an idiot. All I've been doing lately is tiptoeing around you and trying to fix things," he finally turned to face her,"And you don't even lift a finger to help. I'm tired of it Lexie. I'm tired of being the only one fighting for this relationship. In or out Lexie. I need a straight answer."

Lexie bit her lip before finally replying,"Yes then. Yes! Are you happy now?" Her back was tense and she gripped the steering wheel tightly.

"Yes, you'll marry me? Yes, you'll try and fight for this relationship?"

She wriggled in her seat before answering. "I don't know Jackson! Can't you just give me time to think?"

"You don't know? How can you not know? I would've given you time then if you hadn't just ran away from me! That should've been answer enough, but no, I love you too much to accept that," he turned away from her now, sighing,"I thought you loved me too much to do something like that. It wouldn't be the first time I was wrong about you."

"If you need an answer, I love you, is that enough? I love you, I love you, I love you. But—"

"But you don't want to marry me."

"No. I just think we're too young to get married."

"Yeah, sure."

"But if it's what you want, I'll do it. I don't want you to think that I don't want to be in this relationship, that I don't want to fight for it. So, yes. Yes, I'll marry you. I'll marry you tomorrow if it would make you happy."

Jackson smiled and looked over to her. Lexie offered a smile in return and started to slip her hand over to where his was. He took her hand in his and held onto her loosely, but it was enough. 

"Maybe we could have a double wedding. The chief and Webber, then you and me," he laughed.

"Oh no, don't even make me think about that. I'm just fine with being a guest thank you." Lexie smiled broadly, giggling in a way that she hadn't found herself doing for a long while. Jackson joined her in laughter and it was all happy and well till they got home.

Lexie couldn't sleep that night. She sat at the foot of the bed while Jackson slept; she wasn't able to make herself lie down. She felt as though every nerve was exposed. She couldn't sleep. Not in that bed. Not in that house.

She gave two knocks and was on the third when he answered. Tears were streaming down her red face. She could barely get the words out. "I don't know what I've done. I think I really messed up..." She continued to sob even as he held her. He stroked her hair and held her and spoke to her with the sweetness of an adult to a child. "I'm so sorry, I just...I don't know what I've done...I really messed up this time Mark..."

 


	2. She Looked So Scared

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All characters and settings belong to Shonda Rhimes and the ABC Network. Please voice your opinion on my writing and story if you feel the need. Any comments or reviews are greatly appreciated. Thank You.

"If it's easy then you're obviously not doing it right."

"I know that, but it's not supposed to feel this way. If I love him I should know, right?"

Mark sighed and rose from his place on the sofa, going to the kitchen. "I really shouldn't be giving you advice about this. I should be getting advice about this." He turned back to her as he poured himself a cup of coffee. Smiling, he said,"Why don't I just send you off with a happy little metaphor."

"You know you're my only friend right? You're my only friend and you're telling me this." Her tears had stopped they're flowing, but her eyes were still red and puffy. She now appeared to be more frustrated than distraught or melancholy.

"You should've picked better friends," he shrugged as he returned, coffee in hand,"Or, well, friend."

"Just tell me if this was a horrible mistake. Can you tell me that?" She looked to him, her eyes were pleading and he finally relented. 

"You really shouldn't be wanting me to give you advice, but, I think you're scared and you don't want to get married, so don't get married."

"But what if I love him?"

"Marry him or he'll tell his mommy on you."

"Thanks."

* * *

 

"Ellis asked me to be one of her bridesmaids and it would be great if you showed up as well." Her feet were swollen and her ankles fat, making it a struggle to remove her shoes.

"I have a surgery."

Addison sighed, her shoulders slumping and her head turned down. She finally managed to free her foot from one of her shoes and sat it down beside her. She froze as she went for the other one. Her hand was suddenly on the shoe beside her and then it was launched across the room, hitting the wall and then falling to the ground. "Why are you here? Why are you here, Derek? It's obvious that you don't want to be, at least not with me, so why are you here?"

"I'm not doing this. It's been a long day and I'm not doing this with you again." He spoke calmly and without emotion. His expression didn't hint at any hidden pain or anger. 

"You don't think that I've had a long day too? It's been a hard day and my feet are sore but I'm an adult so I get over it. I'm an adult so I don't just bottle up all of my emotion; I actually tell someone when I'm angry or hurt. Stop acting like a child Derek."

Derek was now turned away from her. He let silence settle in the room before going for the bedroom door. 

"What are you doing?" Addison called out to him but the sound of the door slamming dominated the room.

* * *

 

"So you spoke to Meredith?"

"Yes ma'm. I think she'll be able to make it." Lexie replied. The office was filled with all sorts of fabrics, dresses, and seamstresses—who all scurried about the room like mice— making the room look more alike to a bridal store than an office.

"Good. Whenever I tried to call her she'd hang up. I appreciate the favor," Ellis said as she was measured and dressed by one of the seamstresses.

"It was no problem at all really." Lexie smiled up at the woman. Ellis didn't smile back.

"Now go check up on my patients."

"Yes, ma'm!"

* * *

 

She awoke to the sensation of hair in her mouth. Her hair was a messy black mass eating her face. Only it wasn't her hair, it was  _her_ hair. Cristina lazily spat out the hair in her mouth and cleared the rest from her face. Her expression was one of only mild disgust. Cristina strategically wriggled to the side of the bed, sitting up and slowly dressing herself. It was all for naught when her companion awoke and turned to face her.

Rubbing the sleep out of her eyes she began, "What time is it?"

Cristina turned and looked at Callie before getting up and fully dressing. "It's late and I'm late so I've got to—"

"Go. I know. But quick question before you go," Callie smiled endearingly.

Cristina took in a deep breath before finally responding, "Go for it."

"I was thinking we could go to the wedding, together I mean."

"Uh, I don't know, I'll have to look at my schedule," Cristina said as she put on her boot, still facing the door rather than Callie.

"Yeah, well just let me know if you can make it."

Cristina was now halfway to the door. "I will."

The door opened and shut. Callie sighed.

* * *

 

"I can't believe you have a sister," April said as she placed a box on the shelf.

"I can't believe you haven't paid your rent," Meredith smiled as she placed a box beside April's.

April's cheeks reddened slightly and she was quiet for a moment, but only for a moment. "I told you I'll get it in to you by the end of the week, with interest! But can't we just talk about your sister and your mother, I mean your mom's getting married! And your sister, she's well—You have a sister!"

"I'm already regretting telling you."

"You're going to the wedding right?"

"Yeah, I'll try to make it or maybe the next day or maybe, just, never."

April hit Meredith's arm playfully. "You're being stupid!" Meredith's icy glare made April remove her hand from her arm and quickly and awkwardly apologize. "I mean, well, you can't not go to your own mother's wedding. That's just...criminal."

Meredith placed one last box of supplies on the shelf. "Alright, I think that's it for now. Some flea and tick stuff is supposed to come this afternoon, can you take care of that? I'm planning on taking off this afternoon."

A smile lit up April's face and she squealed with joy. "Are you going to see your mom?"

"You want to go see her?" Meredith teased.

"She was kind of my idol back in med school but now I just want to meet the person who spawned all of that," April motioned, referring to Meredith.

"We're not friends, you know that right."

"I kinda think we are but let's agree to disagree. So you are going to see your mom,right?"

"No. I was just planning on swinging by a little after and wishing her the best or some other soppy crap."

"Come on, let's go tonight, make a weekend of it—the wedding's in Seattle right?—and come back all refreshed and with no mommy issues." April smiled, taking Meredith's hands in hers; Meredith soon wrenched her hands back though and sat down on one of the boxes in the supply closet.

"I guess it'd be a little less stressful with me not being the only failure there," Meredith shrugged and stared blankly at the floor before looking back up at April,"Alright, you can come."

The corners of April's mouth were turned downward though her mouth was still trying to hold to that smile. She stood stupefied as Meredith left the room. 

* * *

 "Yeah, she said yes. No, she's not here right now." Jackson had the phone wedged between his tilted head and his shoulder as he opened the fridge door and reached in. He retrieved a milk carton. "No I haven't called him yet. Yes, I know I should have called him but," Jackson bent down to smell the milk and instantly wrenched his head back at the rancid odor,"Well calling your lawyer and signing a prenup isn't very romantic now is it?" Jackson traveled over to the trash with the sour smelling milk and proceeded to toss it. "No, it's a joke mom, that was a joke. Yeah I get it, you're not laughing."

After disposing of the spoiled milk, Jackson went to the couch and laid himself down upon it. "Yes I'm aware you've never met her. Yes I'm aware I'm an Avery. I'm a grown ass man mom, I can make decisions for myself without you being involved. You know what, why don't you just come over for the wedding and meet her then. No, the only reason I've been trying to avoid you meeting her is because of you." There was the sound of jingling keys and the unlocking of the door. Jackson turned to see that the door was slowly being opened with Lexie behind it. "Sorry, I've got to go. Alright, see you then," and then, quietly," I love you too, bye."

"Hey," Lexie began, though she couldn't finish. She had left a note saying she had been paged but now it felt as though she couldn't breathe. Jackson smiled as he rose from the couch and went to her, wrapping his arms around her. He squeezed her tightly, resting his  head on hers. Lexie slowly warmed to the embrace and slid her hands over and down his waist till she was holding onto him as well.

"My mom's coming to the wedding. She want's to meet you."

"Oh, that's great."

* * *

 "It's been so long since I've been back in Seattle. It's so pretty." April had her face glued to the window as she looked out over the lit streets. The orange of the street lights clashed against the blue of the night. People were walking and talking and going on with their perfectly strange little lives. Then came strolling two who weren't perfect strangers. April pressed her finger against the window and in their direction. "Isn't that your sister."

"Fingerprints," Meredith replied. April removed her finger from the window in the manner of a scolded and shamed child. Meredith looked to have no intention of glancing to see if the pedestrian was in fact her sister. Meredith did end up looking to see if April had been right though.

"I guess it is." 

"Is that really all you're gonna say? That's your sister!" April pointed at the couple once again. "And she's with that guy she was fighting with earlier," she squinted at them,"That hot guy she was fighting with. Guess I never noticed."

"We aren't sisters. She's just the daughter of my father and again Kepner, we aren't friends. You're only here—"

"Only here to take the heat off you, I got it. Doesn't mean I can't give you friendly advice."

"Alright, what is it then?"

"Oh, I don't know."

Meredith swatted April and April yelped like a dog whose tail had been stomped.

 


End file.
